The other white meat.

Wow. What an amazingly crappy week. So last Saturday-ish, I'm backing out (head turned completely, mirrors checked beforehand, and those of you who have driven with me know that I'm paranoid about driving backwards), and get backed into by another guy pulling out of another spot. I don't know how I didn't see him. He said he wasn't looking. I'll spare you my idiocy with wrangling with insurance companies, suffice it to say that my poor baby has been sitting in the parking lot for over a week now, with a two inch gash in the bumper. Luckily I don't need a new bumper, and it is getting fixed Monday morning.

Any other week, and this would have been small potatoes. Frustrating, but small potatoes.
Coupled with the Macro exam from hell, and the fact that one of my good friends (and study buddy) dropped out of the program, this week was a life threatening experience. All because of this exam, this damage to the bumper, and what I see as my own idiocy, life will cease, I'll flunk out of the program, my family will hate me, my friends will all forsake me, and I'll end up wandering Dallas or Kansas City, accosting old ladies for quarters by screaming "ANSWER YOUR TELEPHONE!"

As it turns out, the bumper will be fixed, and I got a B (with a mighty fine curve) on the exam. So... uh.. I guess it worked out. Just had a minor crisis/melt down for the week. I can't begin to describe how great it is to have my family there for me when these things happen. I'm usually pretty calm and rational, but when I freak out... I go waaaaaayyyyyyy out there, and it's good to have my parents and brother and sister who will give me a reality check.
It is also very nice to have a very cute little Ardilla around to remind that life still quite amazing and good.

Was at the Econometrics conference all day Saturday. Presentation after presentation of paper after paper about econometrics... that's enough statistics for one day, thank you. And then of course the lovely dialogue that went on outside during the lunch break.
Indian 2nd year student: So I hear one of you dropped?
Me: Yeah.
Indian 3rd year student: Which one?
Indian 1st year student: -----.
I2: Yeah, him.
I3: I thought it was -----.
I2: No no, THIS is ----.
I1: Yeah, the other white one.
I3: Oh. I couldn't tell.
Me: Uh... thanks guys. I know we all look alike, but could you at least notice that I had longer hair?
I3: Oh yeah...

Yes... Quijote... the other white meat.
I don't mind at all though. It's pretty funny actually. It's also funny that one of my Indian professor's thought I was him too.

Talked with one of the students here who I thought was one of the three Turks (prego, math, and elder -Turk, respectively), but turns out to be from Kuwait. She was just starting her research on stochastic processes, which sounded interesting. What was more interesting was the deal she had worked out for her scholarship. For every year that Kuwait University pays for her PhD, she teaches Economics back there. She's up to three or four now, and while she likes Dallas (or at least the lack of heat in Dallas as compared to Kuwait), she likes the deal better. It sounds good. Guaranteed job for at least five years out of the program, and you get your schooling paid for. Why can't I find a sweet deal like that? Wonder if Universidad de Chile or Universitat Autonoma de Barcelona are willing to pay for the rest of my grad program if I promise to teach there... hmmmmmm... somehow I doubt it.
But teaching seemed more appealing to me after this conference. I heard a lot of interesting conversations between the faculty members about various departments, university politics (i.e. BS), research stories, and student stories. I think the professor's here have a sweet deal. Small department, which is growing in rank and research, very little politics (at least from what I heard from a prof. who's worked here for over five years), and good relations with other programs like SUNY, LSU, Michigan, Columbia, Peking, Coppenhagen, etc.
One of the visiting professors (a very cool guy by the way) from SUNY has apparently been threatening to stay down here for the weather's sake. I doubt he will (he definitely seems like a New York guy), but it's still funny to hear. The thing that struck me most about this guy was how young he was. And then how good his graduate student from SUNY was. This grad student (we'll call him "Lucky" for the misprinted Chinese tatoo on his neck that was supposed to mean happiness, but as he later found out just meant "lucky"... so he went with it) presented an impressive mathematical paper on lifetime and fertility rates. It was an offshoot of his professor's earlier research, but it was pretty impressive and independent for grad student work. And at one point, to save time, he shows the first formula, and then the result through skipping the derivations. Well the Columbia prof. and the LSU prof. smelled blood in the water, and one of the results was not intuitive (they couldn't make sense of it without seeing the math).
"Wait wait wait," the LSU prof. interjected, "wouldn't it be better to take the integral of the ratios instead of the ratio of the integrals."
"Yeah I think you did something wrong in your calculations" the Columbia prof. (Chicago trained by the way) added.
Without skipping a beat, Lucky stares them both down and says in a deadpan voice. "No, because this is the correct result from the derivations" he then puts another transparency up to move on but the two would have nothing of it. They kept pushing that he was wrong, until finally he stops them both in mid-cacophony, "Look, my only mistake was not putting up the manipulations" and then on the spot he verbalizes pretty much what would be a two page proof, without sounding frustrated, without sounding annoyed, but more with the tone of an 8th grade math professor explaining why if 2 + x = 4 then you simply isolate the x and solve. And for the only time that day, the LSU and Columbia prof. were pretty much shut down. And where was his advising prof. during all this as his grad student was being grilled by much older, "wiser", professor's from established and well ranked programs? He was chuckling in the back for the rest of the presentation. I think those two had a beer after that one.
Another funny story about Lucky: he and his professor were in Belgium for a week or two as part of some research program or seminar. As Lucky tells it,
"yeah, D and I lived in the same apartment, and I was surprised to see my professor not even get up until 10 or 11. Whenever I tried to wake him, he just rolled over and said, 'anything before 10:30 is not important enough for me to get up.' So at night we'd walk the streets, enjoy the sights, and drink some beer. So each day we'd take turns on who went to the grocery store for beer. Well you can tell who's the econ prof. and who's just the student, because everyday I bought beer, I bought 6 euro quality, while his days he spent like, 2. When I talked to him about it he just said, 'eh it'll all even out.' Stupidly enough I believed him."
Let this be a lesson... professor's are just as capable at shorting you for beer money as anyone else.

The other interesting topic was Universities in the Caribbean or along the Gulf Coasts. As one of my professor's said, "It'd be so great to teach there. Good weather except for a hurricane or two. Fairly decent students. Very little departmental politics. That and I'm sure they'd hire anyone from SMU or SUNY, but there's always a problem with that Spanish requirement. They're always looking for some one who can 'speak at least basic Spanish', so that usually shuts down a lot of people on the market."
... *cough*...
reeeeaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyyyy????
De verdaaaaaaaaaad?

And then there was the poor Dane, who began his lecture with a disclaimer, "I'd just like to point out to all of those who were at the dinner last night, the funky shoes, the hats, and the guys named Yeost are DUTCH. I'm Danish. Right? Alright..." All in good fun of course. It was the last presentation of the day and he had everyone laughing throughout his presentation on whether or not unemployment training programs in Denmark worked (the conclusion, while they don't seem to get the rate itself down, the people who go through the programs tend to stay employed for longer periods of time). Naturally of course he started with the silliest example he could find.
"So, in order to train unemployed people for truck driving jobs, the Danish governmetn decided to drop them in the middle of the forrest, blindfold them, and tell them to find each other. What this has to do with truck driving... well... honestly I'm sure it has nothing to do with truck driving, but its apparently still 'training.'" The best part was he had pictures. Hardened Danish truck drivers, blindfolded, in the woods of northern Europe looking for each other.
And then he whipped out the statistics. This guy was impressive. He gathered over 200,000 observations from his job at the Bureau of Labor Statistics in Denmark, and worked with a professor on the paper. "The professor is now enjoying some prestigious position at Copenhagen... I still work for the BLS Denmark. So if anyone wants to offer me a job... now's the time. But he was a nice guy." Just got credit for the other guy's work. Hm...

The other interesting character was the lady from Peking University, who despite her very well pronounced and versed English, spoke a completely different language from everyone else in the room. That is to say... she was a stats professor in a room of econometricians, who used different words for the same things.
After some haggling over definitions, assumptions made in econometrics that weren't made in statistics in general, and the usual Bayesian vs. Classical argument, we all understood each other better, and her topic was certainly interesting. I just couldn't understand it for the life of me (waaaaayyy too much Bayesian statistics for my poor brain).

Aside from that, I have apparently gotten the reputation as the "first year representative." According to the second and third years there, I'm the only first year who shows up to seminars. Which is true in some sense. One of the Indian first years showed up for this one though, so I had "back-up." Well I figure the more I sort of implant myself like a tick into the department, the easier it will be to get through qualifiers, and the more motivated I'll be to stay. The more I'm a part of the department, the harder it would be for me to up and leave. Another plus is that I get to see how papers are presented, what topics people choose to research, how they do it, how to defend it, and which professor's are going to tear it to shreds and then smile and say, "good job. Do better." (i.e. my micro and macro profs this year).
So I'm bouncing back and forth on research topics right now. Just entertaining as many ideas as possible before I actually have to start writing something. Meanwhile.. still studying.
According to the Kuwaiti, for the Macro qualifier "Just be sure to study the Macro homework very carefully." ... hm....
She passed the Macro right off, but took t he Micro and got it on the second run. I'm a little concerned at how many people I've met who haven't passed at least one of the exams on the first shot. So maybe this summer: I make no plans to work just in case. I would rather spend May and June studying everyday to pass if I didn't get one of the exams on the first run. And I guess if I do get it... Westborough, then Pullman... maybe make a little triangle with a stop in Jaurez... sounds like a plan.

Weekend at Bernie's...?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4372794.stm
So long Al. It was a good run. Let's hope Bernie is just as good. Although if G-dub wanted to appoint another unknown from SMU for a spot, he always could've chosen me (hey... I have only 3 years or so to go before this PhD... I could be chairman of the Fed...). But a Princeton prof. might be good. The reviews are good, but I guess we'll see how he does. I must admit, I'm a little concerned that Al is leaving in January. But times change.

And now for some blog business. I have gotten complaints from my constituents... fans... readers.... whatever you people are, that I'm not performing as I used to. That I'm not keepin' it real. That I have delved too deeply into the art of abstract blogging for your comfort.
So like U2 at the turn of the century, I will return to my regular form, tail tucked soundly between my legs, ready to give more humorous anecdotes. AND THE QUEST FOR PAPA YELLA SHALL BEGIN AGAIN!!!! (cue "big military speech" movie music) With my noble steed... uhm... bike... with my NOBLE BIKE I shall quest the lands far from my home at... White Rock Park... and ... uhm... questeth some more, until I have spotted this wondrous creature yet again! And I shall document him for the world to see! This is my mission, this is my quest! Onward noble stee-... bike! Let us right the injustices of.... runners running on the bike path! Let us punish the heinous headphone listeners! Let us restore order to this chaotic world, as it was in the Siglo de Oro de la bicicleta! When Papa Yella's freely roamed, unhindered!

I have also received a request for a "name-change." So from now on, la Mexicana is now "la Ardilla". Enjoy it, peanut. That's more than the Turks are getting.
The Turks however shall keep their national "identities".
The rest of you... Bugs, Bobo, Raoul, Hombreguapo, etc... you shall keep your titles.

So I should be studying for my Macro test tomorrow... yeah... this is that interesting life that Bugsy wanted to hear so much about. :)

The Temeraire and Progress

Instead of the regular "what's going on" post, I'd like to respond to a post put up recently on Raoul's blog about the painting "The Fighting Temeraire."
Here is the painting:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Turner%2C_The_fighting_Temeraire.jpg

A history of the Temeraire and other ships named after her is here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Temeraire

Specifically this quote: "In our quest to better ourselves, have the things that make human beings human become victims of progress? Are we hollow husks of past glory being towed down a polluted river to our own destruction by the very things we built to better ourselves? May such thoughts disturb you as they did me the day I first layed eyes on Turner's painting."

My response would be, "no, nope, and these thoughts are good, so they shouldn't disturb you."

The Temeraire in itself was a ship. A hunk of wood, manned by the brave men who actually made up the "spirit" of the ship, and made it such a legend. For traveling across the oceans, these wooden ships were unreliable, dangerous, plague ridden, and slow. And these were the finest vessels of the century. Progress killed the Temeraire, yes. And progress replaced it with cheap, mass produced iron steamers which could cross the oceans with less risk of sinking (and killing the crew aboard it), were cheaper and faster to make, and were much faster with less amount of work. While they did pollute, more progress was made, and London is much cleaner than it was in the beginning of the Industrial revolution (no more coal marked sunsets). So the Temeraire was obsolete, and was headed for destruction one way or the other (if the wood was not broken down, nature would have caught up with her one day).

Raoul also ponders: "Sadly, many important and beautiful things are sacrificed in the name of this "progress." Morality. Dignity. Modesty. History. Salience. Intelligence. Wit. Depth. Faith. Hope. Love. All of them, in one way or another, have been called outmoded, outdated, reactionary, or irrelevant by proponents of modern thought and it's constant march towards the next bigger and better thing."
The fact that the painting was even made, and still hangs in a museum contradicts the sacrifice of history, salience, depth, dignity, and wit. In fact the very destruction of the Temeraire that led to the creation of this painting has immortalized it in the cultural conscience. The Temeraire, as a symbol and as a piece of history will clearly live on, long after the wood of the ship has rotted away. As progress marches on, we have to choose the moments in our history that will last, and so far we have chosen well. Little bits of the cultural collective seep through as always through nostalgia, memory, literature, and education. My sophomore year of high school, a young girl in our class made the statement that, "in the future, it won't matter that you know the information, but rather how you get it." It was a rather silly thing to say (especially coming from "my favorite Miracle"... you BTW folks should get that one). Knowledge about particular subjects seems even more important at the advent of the internet. In fact it forces us to learn as much as we can about the particular subject for fear that the internet (a notoriously unreliable source of "good" information) will lead us astray. History, literature, art, and culture are becoming more and more valuable as progress goes on, not less. Notice how forcefully people fight against McDonald's and the perceived threat of globalization for fear of "losing their identity" when in actuality more cultures have been researched, translated, and shared in the last century than any other in history.

As far as dignity, morality, love, faith, and hope. These things aren't related to progress. These are individual choices to make within the world, as the world changes. In fact I think the steam engine had less to do with the decay of morality than modern culture itself, which in some cases also popularizes the halt (or at least pause) of progress to appreciate some idealized past.

Let's return to Don Quijote for a moment. A man who drove himself crazy dreaming of the chivalrous past that never was. Knights were noble, dames were distressed (and in need of saving), villains were clear cut, and magicians used their arts to deceive and manipulate. All masterfully (or not so masterfully) recorded in the caballerias. In some cases, the idyllic dreams of this made-up past were good: such as the case where Don Quijote defends the shepherdess'' right to never marry (if she so decides), calling it the end for which the errant knights strove. In some cases, these ideals went horribly wrong: such as when he released the Picaresque prisoners (whom he believed would never do it again, and he as a knight had a right to free them arbitrarily) only to be beaten, stoned, and robbed by them.
Quijote dies at the realization that his dream, his ideal past to return to, was folly, and that it would not function in the real world. But Cervantes gives examples of when this ideal past is far preferable to the mundane reality. So some things must be held over from the past, and some things must be left behind (and perhaps even forgotten). The past was not a great place. The past was as horrible, ignorant, and wretched than we are today. We just easily forget the bad things back then, and focus on the bad things now.

The Temeraire as a ship was let go of. It was old. It was dangerous to the crews. It was obsolete. The legend that was created out of it however, is evidently on everyone's minds these days (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/uk/2005/trafalgar_200/default.stm).

But it is necessary to preserve the good of the past in some record or some powerful image, such as Turner's brilliant painting.

So let us march on to the bigger and better thing. A society where plagues can be stopped, and maybe even cured. A society where cultures are researched and appreciated, as opposed to decimated and left to decay. A society where instantaneous communication can open doors to anyone willing to work and learn. This society has as much possibility for "Morality. Dignity. Modesty. History. Salience. Intelligence. Wit. Depth. Faith. Hope. Love." as any other in history, it is just what we choose to do with what has been given to us.

And as for history:
Cervantes and Turner are still with us. And they will likely outlive us both, and our descendants. That to me, is a comforting thought.

This post was meant to comfort, by the way, and not completely contradict. These are very good thoughts to have, and indeed have led to the preservation of history and culture. But the pessimism in it sounds so depressed, when there really is some good in the world now (at least as much as there was "back then"), even in the unstoppable movement of "progress" which frightens so many.

Midterms, a road trip, and still trying to learn how to Salsa.

Not quite sure where to begin on this one. It's been a packed week.

I'll start with the bike. I'm going to restart the training program for the century race from the beginning. I have the time to do it, and seeing as I have missed about two weeks straight of rides, it would probably be better for me to go back and re-train instead of jumping headlong into the longer rides.

The Microeconomics midterm seems to have gone well. I did about as I expected: well, but I can do better. This weekend we have the chance of revising two of our answers, which is good. Still no word on the take home portion.

I did very well on the stats practice midterm, so I am not as worried about that one coming up this Thursday. I'm still studying for it though.

Watched "Motorcycle Diaries" with la mexicana, before she left to go home with some friends of hers for the break. After seeing on film the lands in the Southern Cone and Peru that I've only read about... I'm more desperate to get down there and see it myself. I would highly recommend seeing the film to anyone. The acting is good, the script is good, but the cinematography and the landscapes are what stood out to me.
It was like the continent itself was a character and a personality in the movie. It was dynamic, and fluent, and it had its own voice. The lush forests, the pampas, the mountains of Peru and Chile, the Amazon. It's an amazing land. The movie reminded me of the movie I saw in Lawrence about Taos, New Mexico, which tried to capture
the immensity of the landscape on film. I've seen Taos, and I was still impressed by the film (even though it is impossible to capture those mountains in their true form on canvas or film), which makes me think that South America is just as vast and impressive if not more. But enough of my idealizing about lands far away.

I've been thinking a lot about the movie "A River Runs Through It." I really should read the book. My dad once told us, on our... jeez... fifth or sixth viewing of that movie, that the line at the scene where Norman's girlfriend is crying over the state of her brother, that the entire point of the book, the movie, and a sad lesson of life is revealed in that one line. "Why is it that the people who need the most help never ask for it?"
I was wondering that at four AM Sunday morning, cleaning up the gumbo that one of my best friends had just vomited onto the carpet of one of our other friends. I was thinking about it later that afternoon when I told my friend (timidly, and waveringly, as if offending him would really make much difference on the matter) that he needed to stop drinking, that I was worried about his health, and that he should seek help. What kind of friend have I been to let this go on without saying something earlier? I knew it was a problem, but I always figured it would just fade with age. And on top of that I was concerned about sounding like a hypocrite. I drank with him. I didn't try to stop him from drinking so much. I haven't offered any viable or alternative activities that would keep him off the sauce.
All I could do was point him in the direction of the bathroom, get some paper towels, and drive him home in the morning. It was frustrating to see some one I respected put himself in that kind of danger. Especially some one as talented, intelligent, and witty as he is. But I don't know what I can do. He took my weak attempt at friendly intervention seriously, and he said that he would stop for a while, try and find other activities, and just stay off it for a while. He denied any need for outside help.
But that does seem to be a recurring theme in life. No one ever does really ask for help when they need it the most. I wonder if they realize it, or if they just don't think to ask?

On the better side of the evening, I got to see a lot of my friends who I had not seen for a few months (and in some cases for a year or two) as well as meet some of their friends at the colleges they go to. They seem to all be doing very well, and I'm very happy about that. All in all it was a good road trip, and I was pretty happy through most of it.

But I must admit... I missed her a lot. She comes back on Monday though. I would definitely like to see her again, and hear how her weekend went. That and have her teach me how to Salsa some more. :) I found myself thinking, "Oh, she would like that story/joke/conversation" or "Ah, she really needs to meet so-and-so, he/she's a character!" or "This would be a good song to dance to..." Since do I start hearing songs and wanting to dance? ... This is trouble. Lots of trouble.

Two of my friends are coming up on Thursday to see my crummy apartment. Sweet. More people I can torture.

Right now reading two books. Put down the Cela book for a bit and picked up "In Defense of Globalization" by Jagdish Baghwati, and a David Sedaris book (not "Me Talk Pretty One Day") at the library. So far... the Baghwati book is funnier. But I'm only halfway through the Sedaris, so it might get better soon. Maybe I just have too high of expectations after reading "Me Talk Pretty." That book had me laughing for days.
Actually, I'm a little surprised at how interesting the Baghwati book is. But I guess it is part of what I want to research, and it deals with a lot of the problems I would like to help solve. I got the name of another book from my friend which is supposed to be a good counter argument to it. At this point though, I still lean toward globalization. It has shown good results, despite certain problems. But the problems can be addressed, whereas isolationism and protectionism would only lead to more problems. But the book has brought up some interesting questions about the topics I want to write on, so it's a good preemptive "brainstorm tool," for sure.
The Cela book is just... I can't wrap my brain around it right now. I need more time, and less things floating around in my head so I can sit down and decipher it (and not just the Spanish...). Argh! I used to be a Spanish major! I used to be able to interpret and analyze books with ease! I'm losing it! :(