Saturn devouring his job candidate...

After two rather successful job candidate seminars (a woman from Harvard with a very impressive paper on school vouchers in Florida, and the beloved visiting Prof. from SUNY who is looking for warmer climates), we (myself, my Indian first year friend, her friend, the Math Turk, the Filipina, the Bulgarian, and a Chinese fourth year student) filed in for what looked to be a promising seminar by a visiting prof. at a prestigious, preppy, private university in St. Louis (which shall here remain nameless), and also a Stanford graduate.

I could tell you how the Micro and International Trade gurus ripped him to shreds in front of everyone. I could even tell you about getting caught passing notes at the back row by the Micro Guru, who instead of punishing me, chuckled (hey, he was the one who started passing notes to other prof's, so it was his influence). I could tell you about how this guy crashed and burned like some junky cosmonaut (name that Cracker tune). But I think instead I will leave you with his introductory "joke", and then a portrait which I think accurately depicts what follows.

Job Candidate: So it's always a bit nerve wracking to be back on the job market -silence-... but uh, I have a good feeling about this one because I had a dream last night -chuckles from the Micro guru- uh... see I gave this presentation to Harry Truman, and he seemed to like it, so I should be okay. -silence. a few chuckles-
International Trade Guru: Yes but Harry Truman is not on the recruiting committee. -nervous laughter from some of the profs, the Micro Guru cackles, our micro prof.'s face contorts into expressions I never knew existed as he is staring intently at the notes he has written ALL OVER this guy's paper, and the grad students in the back row lean forward holding in their laughter... things are about to get good-

If Goya had painted what followed next, I think it would look something like this:

Okay this needs sound effects:
BLALALALALALALKGHGHJHJHGKHGKGHKGJKLSJJDKJGLKHSDLGSLDJGH
AOOOMOMLKGLHGKHLKGHLGHLKJ MMMMMMMMMMM that's good job candidate...

Let me tell you, I haven't seen my micro professor's face that contorted in a look of "WTF" since two days before when one of our classmates found Jesus in a proof for Game Theory and decided to share it with the rest of the class. I guess it's better than a taco.

And now I shall leave you with the notes passed between my Indian friend, her friend, and myself during the presentation, which were announced by the sliding of my Indian friend's planner across the desk, followed by the scratching of the pencil, the sliding of the planner, and several chuckles:
clunk-skshhhhhh-scritchscritch-skshhhhh-hehehe-clunk-skshhhhhhh-scritch....

WHY ARE OUR PROF'S PASSING NOTES? THAT'S A HORRIBLE EXAMPLE FOR THE STUDENTS.
LOOK AT THAT ONE'S FACE.
WHAT ARE THEY WRITING?
I THINK ONE OF THEIR NOTES JUST SAID, "I DON'T THINK THIS GUY UNDERSTANDS MY QUESTIONS". I ALSO SAW, "HE COULD EXPLAIN THIS FOR FIFTY MINUTES AND NOT CONVINCE ME HE KNEW WHAT THE HELL HE WAS TALKING ABOUT."
THIS IS WORSE THAN US.
HOW DID HE GRADUATE FROM STANFORD?
I THINK HE SEES US.

And yes, we realized the irony of passing notes about the horrible example our professors were setting for us as we were passing notes as well.

Say it with me folks: I don't think he got the job.