You Take What You Can Get

There was some funny business going on at the last quiz in our Intro course. My Ukrainian colleague and I caught some communication among communications majors, who rather than deny involvement in academic misconduct simply stated in their defense, "Well we all failed anyway." True enough they did when we checked the quizzes. They were let off with a warning by the instructor, but my Ukrainian colleague and I were not satisfied. Neither were the other TAs. But we were not the instructor, and none of us were willing to go through the arduous task of filing the paperwork for academic misconduct then spending (on average) two hours at a hearing which will probably rule in favor of the student anyway (despite having three witnesses, and a pseudo-admission from the students).

So when the instructor called in sick for this quiz day last week, we the TA's decided to send a clear message that the only thing between the entire lecture hall and a failing grade (with possible academic misconduct charges) was the grace and forgiveness of the instructor.
The quiz procedure had been loosey-goosey, and this had led to some talking while quizzes were still being passed up. There had been a noticeable buzz the last two quizzes, but only that last time did we find evidence of actual cheating. So my instructions were to give the students their quiz this week, review any questions they might have, and then let them go (I'm not responsible for teaching them new material). So we lined ourselves up in front of the class with quizzes in hand, game faces on, and a general scary demeanor (our Ukranian collegeaue suggested that our six-eight Senegalese colleague cut the most imposing profile so he sat in the front and stared down the auditorium- very funny considering he is actually the nicest one of all of us), and I got to use the microphone... or as I like to call it: "the voice of God."
"There is going to be a restatement of certain quiz policies, and a change you need to be aware of." After most of the students had filed in to sit down at their usual spots, we decided to impose our midterm and final exam policy on the quizzes. "There must be at least one seat between you and the next person. There's space upstairs."
So now we had them moving. And we waited. I had an hour and a half to give a fifteen minute quiz. That didn't stop me from being a bit of a jerk though, "Hurry, you're wasting valuable quiz time." If food were allowed in that auditorium I had the feeling I would be dodging tomatoes based on a few looks I was given.
When they had resettled I walked up and down the aisles and began restating all the quiz policies that we had gotten lax on in the past few weeks. No talking while the quizzes are handed out. Do not start until we say you can start. No talking while the quiz is being picked up. Any violation will result in a zero on the quiz, and in some cases charges of academic misconduct. So then we passed out the quizzes. I caught a few whispered comments as the quizzes were being passed out and then used the voice of God, "This is the last warning. Anymore talking, and you'll fail the quiz."

Silence. Nothing but the sound of their quiet desperation in a hopeless attempt to solve macroeconomic problems. As GTAs we felt powerful. Liberated. Our Iranian TA, who is usually a very sweet and well mannered woman, even made a few freshmen jump in fear when she turned and looked at some one who had cleared their throat.
When the quiz was over, not a sound could be heard. A very satisfying contrast to the mild buzz we'd been hearing in the last two quizzes.
I went over the quiz answers, using the "voice of God." Then told them if they had any questions they could stay and ask us, but if not they could leave. They all of course left.

Considering our universities' policy favoring students in the cases of academic misconduct, and how much we have to go through to prove it, we are generally satisfied at the little victories we get in taking revenge on the students. There are so few pleasures in the life of a Teachers' Assistant. Being able to get 350 students to once again behave, while the instructor is away, is one we're going to keep with us for a while. There were a lot of laughs at the undergraduates' expense in the breakroom by the way.
Yes... we are petty, bitter, and cynical. And its fun.

Now we just have to figure out if we can reimpose our authority when the instructor returns next week. I think our instructor is going to be much more popular among the students now that they've seen the alternative.

The downside to all this:
The students who were caught were my Ukrainian friend's favorite "lecture time soap opera." Eight girls all wanting to sit by one guy, four laptops that were always on facebook, and their odd obsession with checking the website for the Communications major. He has been robbed of his entertainment during lecture. And let me tell you... they were pretty entertaining. Things were starting to get good when it became apparent that two girls who used to always sit by each other were now sitting on opposite ends of the guy. We only heard snippets. Something about him taking both of them out on dates on the same day. They of course did not blame him for this, but rather the other girl. Such a shame for my colleague and I, seeing as we both want closure on that anecdote.