Are these highly respected institutions and faculty? You betcha.
Will it be a rigorous grounding in the economics of a market? Most definitely.
If I went, do I think my department would help fund the trip (even if I had an accepted paper to present- which I don't)? A resounding no.
Do I still want to go if they repeat it in 2010? You tell me.
Ah well. There is always the Corn-onomics conference in Omaha next fall. (If there actually is this conference, that would be AWESOME).
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Enough With the Vampires Already
I took a study break to watch the new episode of South Park online tonight, and was entertained by their lampooning of kid pop "vampire" culture. Especially the antagonism between the Goth kids and the Vamp kids. To my own chagrin, I do not usually make the distinction between the two groups either. So I've learned something today.
Recalling an older post from this blog (Math Defeats Vampires), I guess we can now add "Goth kids" and "burning down the nearest Hot Topic" as another means of destroying vampires. Thank you Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
Let me also just repeat: vampires are old and lame*. Let's move on to something else.
*With the obvious exception of Christopher Lee.
Recalling an older post from this blog (Math Defeats Vampires), I guess we can now add "Goth kids" and "burning down the nearest Hot Topic" as another means of destroying vampires. Thank you Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
Let me also just repeat: vampires are old and lame*. Let's move on to something else.
*With the obvious exception of Christopher Lee.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
You Take What You Can Get
There was some funny business going on at the last quiz in our Intro course. My Ukrainian colleague and I caught some communication among communications majors, who rather than deny involvement in academic misconduct simply stated in their defense, "Well we all failed anyway." True enough they did when we checked the quizzes. They were let off with a warning by the instructor, but my Ukrainian colleague and I were not satisfied. Neither were the other TAs. But we were not the instructor, and none of us were willing to go through the arduous task of filing the paperwork for academic misconduct then spending (on average) two hours at a hearing which will probably rule in favor of the student anyway (despite having three witnesses, and a pseudo-admission from the students).
So when the instructor called in sick for this quiz day last week, we the TA's decided to send a clear message that the only thing between the entire lecture hall and a failing grade (with possible academic misconduct charges) was the grace and forgiveness of the instructor.
The quiz procedure had been loosey-goosey, and this had led to some talking while quizzes were still being passed up. There had been a noticeable buzz the last two quizzes, but only that last time did we find evidence of actual cheating. So my instructions were to give the students their quiz this week, review any questions they might have, and then let them go (I'm not responsible for teaching them new material). So we lined ourselves up in front of the class with quizzes in hand, game faces on, and a general scary demeanor (our Ukranian collegeaue suggested that our six-eight Senegalese colleague cut the most imposing profile so he sat in the front and stared down the auditorium- very funny considering he is actually the nicest one of all of us), and I got to use the microphone... or as I like to call it: "the voice of God."
"There is going to be a restatement of certain quiz policies, and a change you need to be aware of." After most of the students had filed in to sit down at their usual spots, we decided to impose our midterm and final exam policy on the quizzes. "There must be at least one seat between you and the next person. There's space upstairs."
So now we had them moving. And we waited. I had an hour and a half to give a fifteen minute quiz. That didn't stop me from being a bit of a jerk though, "Hurry, you're wasting valuable quiz time." If food were allowed in that auditorium I had the feeling I would be dodging tomatoes based on a few looks I was given.
When they had resettled I walked up and down the aisles and began restating all the quiz policies that we had gotten lax on in the past few weeks. No talking while the quizzes are handed out. Do not start until we say you can start. No talking while the quiz is being picked up. Any violation will result in a zero on the quiz, and in some cases charges of academic misconduct. So then we passed out the quizzes. I caught a few whispered comments as the quizzes were being passed out and then used the voice of God, "This is the last warning. Anymore talking, and you'll fail the quiz."
Silence. Nothing but the sound of their quiet desperation in a hopeless attempt to solve macroeconomic problems. As GTAs we felt powerful. Liberated. Our Iranian TA, who is usually a very sweet and well mannered woman, even made a few freshmen jump in fear when she turned and looked at some one who had cleared their throat.
When the quiz was over, not a sound could be heard. A very satisfying contrast to the mild buzz we'd been hearing in the last two quizzes.
I went over the quiz answers, using the "voice of God." Then told them if they had any questions they could stay and ask us, but if not they could leave. They all of course left.
Considering our universities' policy favoring students in the cases of academic misconduct, and how much we have to go through to prove it, we are generally satisfied at the little victories we get in taking revenge on the students. There are so few pleasures in the life of a Teachers' Assistant. Being able to get 350 students to once again behave, while the instructor is away, is one we're going to keep with us for a while. There were a lot of laughs at the undergraduates' expense in the breakroom by the way.
Yes... we are petty, bitter, and cynical. And its fun.
Now we just have to figure out if we can reimpose our authority when the instructor returns next week. I think our instructor is going to be much more popular among the students now that they've seen the alternative.
The downside to all this:
The students who were caught were my Ukrainian friend's favorite "lecture time soap opera." Eight girls all wanting to sit by one guy, four laptops that were always on facebook, and their odd obsession with checking the website for the Communications major. He has been robbed of his entertainment during lecture. And let me tell you... they were pretty entertaining. Things were starting to get good when it became apparent that two girls who used to always sit by each other were now sitting on opposite ends of the guy. We only heard snippets. Something about him taking both of them out on dates on the same day. They of course did not blame him for this, but rather the other girl. Such a shame for my colleague and I, seeing as we both want closure on that anecdote.
So when the instructor called in sick for this quiz day last week, we the TA's decided to send a clear message that the only thing between the entire lecture hall and a failing grade (with possible academic misconduct charges) was the grace and forgiveness of the instructor.
The quiz procedure had been loosey-goosey, and this had led to some talking while quizzes were still being passed up. There had been a noticeable buzz the last two quizzes, but only that last time did we find evidence of actual cheating. So my instructions were to give the students their quiz this week, review any questions they might have, and then let them go (I'm not responsible for teaching them new material). So we lined ourselves up in front of the class with quizzes in hand, game faces on, and a general scary demeanor (our Ukranian collegeaue suggested that our six-eight Senegalese colleague cut the most imposing profile so he sat in the front and stared down the auditorium- very funny considering he is actually the nicest one of all of us), and I got to use the microphone... or as I like to call it: "the voice of God."
"There is going to be a restatement of certain quiz policies, and a change you need to be aware of." After most of the students had filed in to sit down at their usual spots, we decided to impose our midterm and final exam policy on the quizzes. "There must be at least one seat between you and the next person. There's space upstairs."
So now we had them moving. And we waited. I had an hour and a half to give a fifteen minute quiz. That didn't stop me from being a bit of a jerk though, "Hurry, you're wasting valuable quiz time." If food were allowed in that auditorium I had the feeling I would be dodging tomatoes based on a few looks I was given.
When they had resettled I walked up and down the aisles and began restating all the quiz policies that we had gotten lax on in the past few weeks. No talking while the quizzes are handed out. Do not start until we say you can start. No talking while the quiz is being picked up. Any violation will result in a zero on the quiz, and in some cases charges of academic misconduct. So then we passed out the quizzes. I caught a few whispered comments as the quizzes were being passed out and then used the voice of God, "This is the last warning. Anymore talking, and you'll fail the quiz."
Silence. Nothing but the sound of their quiet desperation in a hopeless attempt to solve macroeconomic problems. As GTAs we felt powerful. Liberated. Our Iranian TA, who is usually a very sweet and well mannered woman, even made a few freshmen jump in fear when she turned and looked at some one who had cleared their throat.
When the quiz was over, not a sound could be heard. A very satisfying contrast to the mild buzz we'd been hearing in the last two quizzes.
I went over the quiz answers, using the "voice of God." Then told them if they had any questions they could stay and ask us, but if not they could leave. They all of course left.
Considering our universities' policy favoring students in the cases of academic misconduct, and how much we have to go through to prove it, we are generally satisfied at the little victories we get in taking revenge on the students. There are so few pleasures in the life of a Teachers' Assistant. Being able to get 350 students to once again behave, while the instructor is away, is one we're going to keep with us for a while. There were a lot of laughs at the undergraduates' expense in the breakroom by the way.
Yes... we are petty, bitter, and cynical. And its fun.
Now we just have to figure out if we can reimpose our authority when the instructor returns next week. I think our instructor is going to be much more popular among the students now that they've seen the alternative.
The downside to all this:
The students who were caught were my Ukrainian friend's favorite "lecture time soap opera." Eight girls all wanting to sit by one guy, four laptops that were always on facebook, and their odd obsession with checking the website for the Communications major. He has been robbed of his entertainment during lecture. And let me tell you... they were pretty entertaining. Things were starting to get good when it became apparent that two girls who used to always sit by each other were now sitting on opposite ends of the guy. We only heard snippets. Something about him taking both of them out on dates on the same day. They of course did not blame him for this, but rather the other girl. Such a shame for my colleague and I, seeing as we both want closure on that anecdote.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Quijote vs. Detroit
I have had a couple of friends call me about the GM bail out issue and ask my opinion, and their response was shock (absolute shock) that I was for government intervention. But not in the way you might think.
Let me be very clear: the government has no place in trying to float a dying economic sector. The auto industry in the United States, much like the manufacturing industry in general, has been dying for decades now. Robotics have replaced many assembly line jobs, and the foreign competition is killing our workers (while benefiting our consumers). So where does government play a role in this? Not in loaning obscene amounts of money to dying industries.
Let's assume that GM has not mismanaged its business by not foreseeing the change in demand from large gas guzzlers to smaller more fuel efficient cars. Let's assume that they made optimal decisions that have brought them to their current crisis. Even then they would be shrinking. Why should we the taxpayers keep this industry on life support when its very existence freezes up effective labor in an inefficient industry and cheats consumers out of good products (why else do we pay so little for more sturdy foreign cars?)?
Even then, if GM, Chrysler, and Ford had made good decisions our government should not loan them money (not bail out, but not even loan). In fact we should skip the firms altogether. We should skip the corrupt unions as well. Go straight to the worker. Offer every laid off employee two years of subsidized education (through loans or scholarships or what have you) to retrain in another field: health sciences, technology, whatever. Make our auto workers competitive in other sectors of the economy so they don't have to worry about keeping their jobs at a plant that very well might lay them off.
Or better yet, let's subsidize their movements across the country. If an engineer or auto worker can't find a job in Detroit, lets give them a tax break for moving to a city where they can. Let's put that money INTO the economy, INTO the worker, instead of into the firm or into the union. Unions do not make wages go up. The competitive nature of workers make wages go up. Unions do not protect the interest of workers. Demand for workers by firms leads to companies offering benefits to workers. Unions have done NOTHING, while the change in the economic make-up of our country has done EVERYTHING for workers. Basically: if you want a competitive wage then work hard, get an education, and bargain hard for it. Don't rely on your union representative to have YOUR best interests in mind when he's happy just getting your dues.
Here is the metaphor that I will get in trouble for.
Imagine a comatose patient, who has no hope of waking up. The brain is for all intents and purposes dead, and the body is kept alive by machines. The organs are perfectly healthy. We love the patient. We have great memories with the patient. But if we keep them alive, the organs will continue to keep a vegetable alive while at LEAST five other people who could use the transplant die (heart, lungs, kidneys, pancreas, what have you). This is the hard part. This is where we have to decide to pull the plug, and let what living parts of the body go to save lives. The body is NOT the soul. The body is NOT the essence. The lessons we've learned, the culture we've accumulated from the US auto worker will live on in our hearts and minds. But it is as dead as the US farmer. This is opportunity cost, which I struggle to teach my class every semester. The cost of something is not what you pay to get it. The cost of something is WHAT YOU SACRIFICE to get it. What you could be doing instead with your resources. We are sacrificing the talent and hard work of Detroit engineers and autoworkers to keep a dead industry on life support. Let it go. Let them go to other sectors of the economy where they are needed. It is going to hurt: the unemployment rate will go up, sales will go down, and people will suffer. But in the long run this is what we have to do.
Let me also be clear on this: What is good for GM, is NOT good for the US. Any company that tells you that "what is good for [insert name here] is good for the US" is lying to you, whether they are a bank, department store, oil company, factory, or car maker.
While I believe this bail out will go through, I do not believe it will help the US auto worker. It will keep GM executives on life support while they retool (see massive layoffs and restructuring) to keep their asses out of the fire, and it will keep union leaders in their positions. Meanwhile the workers will be left out in the cold. If we must have government intervention, then we must have it at the level of re-education and retraining to allow workers to become more competitive. Not to benefit unions and firms.
Check the BLS (bureau of labor statistics) reports in the next three years. The US manufacturing industry will continue to lose jobs in spite of recession or boom years.
Let me be very clear: the government has no place in trying to float a dying economic sector. The auto industry in the United States, much like the manufacturing industry in general, has been dying for decades now. Robotics have replaced many assembly line jobs, and the foreign competition is killing our workers (while benefiting our consumers). So where does government play a role in this? Not in loaning obscene amounts of money to dying industries.
Let's assume that GM has not mismanaged its business by not foreseeing the change in demand from large gas guzzlers to smaller more fuel efficient cars. Let's assume that they made optimal decisions that have brought them to their current crisis. Even then they would be shrinking. Why should we the taxpayers keep this industry on life support when its very existence freezes up effective labor in an inefficient industry and cheats consumers out of good products (why else do we pay so little for more sturdy foreign cars?)?
Even then, if GM, Chrysler, and Ford had made good decisions our government should not loan them money (not bail out, but not even loan). In fact we should skip the firms altogether. We should skip the corrupt unions as well. Go straight to the worker. Offer every laid off employee two years of subsidized education (through loans or scholarships or what have you) to retrain in another field: health sciences, technology, whatever. Make our auto workers competitive in other sectors of the economy so they don't have to worry about keeping their jobs at a plant that very well might lay them off.
Or better yet, let's subsidize their movements across the country. If an engineer or auto worker can't find a job in Detroit, lets give them a tax break for moving to a city where they can. Let's put that money INTO the economy, INTO the worker, instead of into the firm or into the union. Unions do not make wages go up. The competitive nature of workers make wages go up. Unions do not protect the interest of workers. Demand for workers by firms leads to companies offering benefits to workers. Unions have done NOTHING, while the change in the economic make-up of our country has done EVERYTHING for workers. Basically: if you want a competitive wage then work hard, get an education, and bargain hard for it. Don't rely on your union representative to have YOUR best interests in mind when he's happy just getting your dues.
Here is the metaphor that I will get in trouble for.
Imagine a comatose patient, who has no hope of waking up. The brain is for all intents and purposes dead, and the body is kept alive by machines. The organs are perfectly healthy. We love the patient. We have great memories with the patient. But if we keep them alive, the organs will continue to keep a vegetable alive while at LEAST five other people who could use the transplant die (heart, lungs, kidneys, pancreas, what have you). This is the hard part. This is where we have to decide to pull the plug, and let what living parts of the body go to save lives. The body is NOT the soul. The body is NOT the essence. The lessons we've learned, the culture we've accumulated from the US auto worker will live on in our hearts and minds. But it is as dead as the US farmer. This is opportunity cost, which I struggle to teach my class every semester. The cost of something is not what you pay to get it. The cost of something is WHAT YOU SACRIFICE to get it. What you could be doing instead with your resources. We are sacrificing the talent and hard work of Detroit engineers and autoworkers to keep a dead industry on life support. Let it go. Let them go to other sectors of the economy where they are needed. It is going to hurt: the unemployment rate will go up, sales will go down, and people will suffer. But in the long run this is what we have to do.
Let me also be clear on this: What is good for GM, is NOT good for the US. Any company that tells you that "what is good for [insert name here] is good for the US" is lying to you, whether they are a bank, department store, oil company, factory, or car maker.
While I believe this bail out will go through, I do not believe it will help the US auto worker. It will keep GM executives on life support while they retool (see massive layoffs and restructuring) to keep their asses out of the fire, and it will keep union leaders in their positions. Meanwhile the workers will be left out in the cold. If we must have government intervention, then we must have it at the level of re-education and retraining to allow workers to become more competitive. Not to benefit unions and firms.
Check the BLS (bureau of labor statistics) reports in the next three years. The US manufacturing industry will continue to lose jobs in spite of recession or boom years.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Step Away from the Bidet (Or How Quijote Became 'Clean to Pray')
Be forewarned, there is a lot of potty humor in this post.
The fall departmental party at my favorite Egyptian professor's house was this weekend, and after about two beers, three iced teas, and a large glass of water, I had to make several trips to the household facilities (anyone remember those New Mexico road trips? Yeah, I'm still an 8 year old in the back seat saying "Daaaaaad, we might have to stop soon...").
Two hours into the night, and about my third trip, I gave in to temptation. Attached to the professor's toilet were three knobs under the logo "ULTRA-Bidet" which for some reason I associated with the slogan in my head "For that Ultra Refreshed Clean Feeling". "No..." I told myself. So I washed my hands... took one more look... then bent over and flicked the knob that said "Pressure."
After many years in higher education it has apparently still not dawned on me to not stand directly in front of what looks like nozzles as I'm pushing buttons or turning knobs. This is why I do not own guns.
After a whooshing "PSSH" sound, the front of my jeans became rather well soaked. Though I must admit, I did feel ultra refreshed and clean.
Then came the question of how to avoid looking like I just peed myself in front of all my colleagues, professors, and potential advisers. Thankfully, my wonderful fiancee gave me a great jacket last year that I could fold in front of my pants and hold onto. So I could go out, rejoin the party, and perhaps slip out without anyone noticing. It just looked like I had taken off my jacket. I could slip out, change pants, and come back with little to no fuss.
And then laziness overtook me. I did not want to walk fifteen minutes, home, change pants, come back, then explain why I was suddenly wearing khakis. So I stepped out and rejoined the party, with the jacket folded and hanging from my arm, in front of my pants.
And no one noticed.
At least... not until I started telling them. I mean come on. This is just too funny to not turn into a story.
So I talked to Mohamed (the professor whose house it was), and told him about my attempt to use his bidet. His first response, "Oh please tell me you were not in standing in front of it when you turned it on!"
He then explained how his brother-in-law had visited him many years ago, and was scandalized at his lack of a bidet. Apparently your hands must be clean when you pray in Islam, and the concept of toilet paper is just not very clean in Egyptian culture. So Mohamed had a bidet installed for when his family from Egypt visited. To add to the story Mohamed began laughing, and saying in a rather loud voice, "You are clean to pray now! I'll be sure to find you on Monday for call to prayer!"
We then spread the story to some of the people at the party, who I knew to be good folks and not the type to be too judgmental. The most common reaction was, "Yeah, I really wanted to see what happened when I turned the knobs too..."
The best part of the evening though, was when one of our star graduate students decided that he wanted a picture with all the girls of the department. And I became the unofficial photographer. Then his adviser wanted to have his own picture. And every girl wanted their camera to take at least one of the pictures.
I took about two dozen pictures, camera in one hand, my fiancee's jacket in the other, and NO ONE ASKED ME ABOUT IT OR MADE A SINGLE COMMENT.
At some point it dried, and I could stop holding the jacket in front of my pants. Still had a rather good evening.
Bidet 1
Quijote 0.
Well played, Bidet... well played.
The fall departmental party at my favorite Egyptian professor's house was this weekend, and after about two beers, three iced teas, and a large glass of water, I had to make several trips to the household facilities (anyone remember those New Mexico road trips? Yeah, I'm still an 8 year old in the back seat saying "Daaaaaad, we might have to stop soon...").
Two hours into the night, and about my third trip, I gave in to temptation. Attached to the professor's toilet were three knobs under the logo "ULTRA-Bidet" which for some reason I associated with the slogan in my head "For that Ultra Refreshed Clean Feeling". "No..." I told myself. So I washed my hands... took one more look... then bent over and flicked the knob that said "Pressure."
After many years in higher education it has apparently still not dawned on me to not stand directly in front of what looks like nozzles as I'm pushing buttons or turning knobs. This is why I do not own guns.
After a whooshing "PSSH" sound, the front of my jeans became rather well soaked. Though I must admit, I did feel ultra refreshed and clean.
Then came the question of how to avoid looking like I just peed myself in front of all my colleagues, professors, and potential advisers. Thankfully, my wonderful fiancee gave me a great jacket last year that I could fold in front of my pants and hold onto. So I could go out, rejoin the party, and perhaps slip out without anyone noticing. It just looked like I had taken off my jacket. I could slip out, change pants, and come back with little to no fuss.
And then laziness overtook me. I did not want to walk fifteen minutes, home, change pants, come back, then explain why I was suddenly wearing khakis. So I stepped out and rejoined the party, with the jacket folded and hanging from my arm, in front of my pants.
And no one noticed.
At least... not until I started telling them. I mean come on. This is just too funny to not turn into a story.
So I talked to Mohamed (the professor whose house it was), and told him about my attempt to use his bidet. His first response, "Oh please tell me you were not in standing in front of it when you turned it on!"
He then explained how his brother-in-law had visited him many years ago, and was scandalized at his lack of a bidet. Apparently your hands must be clean when you pray in Islam, and the concept of toilet paper is just not very clean in Egyptian culture. So Mohamed had a bidet installed for when his family from Egypt visited. To add to the story Mohamed began laughing, and saying in a rather loud voice, "You are clean to pray now! I'll be sure to find you on Monday for call to prayer!"
We then spread the story to some of the people at the party, who I knew to be good folks and not the type to be too judgmental. The most common reaction was, "Yeah, I really wanted to see what happened when I turned the knobs too..."
The best part of the evening though, was when one of our star graduate students decided that he wanted a picture with all the girls of the department. And I became the unofficial photographer. Then his adviser wanted to have his own picture. And every girl wanted their camera to take at least one of the pictures.
I took about two dozen pictures, camera in one hand, my fiancee's jacket in the other, and NO ONE ASKED ME ABOUT IT OR MADE A SINGLE COMMENT.
At some point it dried, and I could stop holding the jacket in front of my pants. Still had a rather good evening.
Bidet 1
Quijote 0.
Well played, Bidet... well played.
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