Do Not Automate College Yet...

Seen a few articles on how it would be better to push more people through college by automating classes and putting more classes on the web.  This is my counter argument.

The following is an assignment:
Gather the Head Count Ratio (percentage of the population who fall below the poverty line at $2/day), the population, and the poverty line ($2/day).  Use a spreadsheet to calculate the total headcount of the population falling below the poverty line, remembering that the Head Count Ratio is the Head Count divided by the Population.  Turn in a spreadsheet table that says if the Head Count has increased or decreased in your country over time and graph it.

Let me give you an example of a student let's call "Bob."  Bob gathered that in China in 2002, the Headcount Ratio is 51.2%, and the population is 1.28 billion.  Bob then calculates the head count, the total amount of the population of China who fall below $2 a day, as 65.5 billion people.  Bob turns this in. 

When I give Bob a "D" (which means 'incomprehensible work, showing minimal understanding' in my class) he comes into my office demanding to know why.  I point him toward my comments on his grade evaluation: "Check your spreadsheet formula.  Are there 65 billion people in China?"  Bob still does not understand.  I ask Bob what 20% of 100 is.  Bob responds, "20".  And how do we get that? "I don't get where this is going?  There aren't 100 people in China!" (*actual quote*)  Some one does not appear to have the faculties for abstract thought. 

I sigh with depression, and ask him if the planet has 65 billion people on it.  He does not know how to respond.  I ask him that if we want 51% of x, how do we get that? 

This goes on for ten minutes.  Ten... painful... minutes. 

Now, I have 27 students in my class.  Only 33.3% (approximately) managed to successfully apply the lessons in percentages they should have known since 7th grade.  I'm not even going to mention the idiots who multiplied the headcount ratio by the poverty line, especially when we spent an entire lecture just explaining what each of these measures are. 

When I see a majority of my class doing the work that I could not legitimately train a monkey to do, then I will support automating university.  Until then, they apparently need college to make up for their absolutely dismal middle school education.